“Don’t call him first…”, “If he really likes you, he will make a move..”, “girl, it’s 2011, you gotta go get what you want…” These are all statements that many of us females have heard at one point or the other of our lives concerning whether or not to ‘make a move’ with a guy.
Some say, it’s the responsibility of the man to initiate if there is interest involved. Others say, it doesn’t matter who makes the first move. I SAY….
I am fundamentally what many would call ‘old-fashioned.’ However, I like to say that I do add a bit of ‘new-generation flavor’ to my theory on the initiation scenario. Personally, I believe that NO ONE likes rejection, guy or girl. But, someone has to do something in order for something to happen. My ‘old-fashioned’ beliefs lie in the notion that when a guy REALLY wants a girl, he will do WHATEVER it takes to get her (even if he has to enlist help). However, ladies, if you’re interested, present yourself (with class) as available and drop hints! Initiating requires a lot of gut, so help him out if there is something there. Go talk to him, be nice, compliment him, let him know that he won’t be completely disregarded.
Lastly, when in a situation where things have been brewing for a while yet there has been no talk of ‘what’s next’, ladies, you may have to put your foot down and give an ultimatum, lest you fall into the ‘friends with benefits category’. Check out this article that speaks to this situation: http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001856.cfm.
Ultimately, while I do believe that the guy should be the one to ‘define the relationship’, that doesn’t mean, the the girl can’t get involved in getting something started!
So about this whole initiation thing: Yes, I do agree that men should usually be the one to initiate something with a girl or make the first move if he likes her. However, if as a female, you like a guy and you are waiting on him to make a move because you are so called “old fashioned”, you might be waiting for a long time because this is now the “new fashion”. Many times guys are naive (and ladies as well) as to figuring out that they are liked. So, dropping hints might not cut it. If after dropping hints, he or she is still not getting it, just come out and be straight forward and save yourself the guess work and time. In practicing being blunt and straight, what’s the worse that could happen if you tell him? Perhaps you will get rejected. Well, guys get rejected on almost a daily bases. So, get over it (females don’t like to hear that). Lastly, the whole “giving him an ultimatum” thing is cool as long as you are prepared for whatever his answer may be.