(In response to a reader question)
From Her:
Locks on cell phones….hmmm. Well, first of all, most people lock their cell phones as a mode of privacy in general. But, I am guessing that you are talking about in the confines of a relationship. When in a relationship, I believe trust is SUPER IMPORTANT…it’s one of the major cruxes of any healthy relationship. Do you have to constantly go through your best friend’s phone?? No (I hope not)! And why is that the case? Because you trust him/her. As a result, you don’t EXPECT to find anything on their phone that would jeopardize your relationship.
Now, before you say that is different (and I know it is…to some degree), my central point still stands. I personally do not believe it is crucial. Now, if you both have agreed to give each other access to phones just because…(and not because of a lack of trust or to be sneaky), then that is absolutely fine! But, first make sure your reasoning behind wanting access is not motivated by something negative. That is never good in any relationship! If you feel the NEED to always check your significant other/ spouses’ cell phone, there may be an issue..with either or both parties. Examine the purpose and it will help you determine if it is necessary. Now, if you are married, you are one! What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine. Do I NEED to have access to your phone, maybe not. But, once again, the couple should be able to sit down and decide on that. Speaking personally, will it be a crime if I happen to look at my husbands phone or he mine? (Hopefully) No; because we will have no reason to search for anything negative. He can look all he wants lol! Again, it all boils down to TRUST!
From Him:
Like she said, it all boils down to trust at the end of the day. Some things do depend though. If I always had my phone locked before even meeting you, which I personally do just for security, then that shouldn’t be an issue. However if I never had a lock on my phone before, and all of a sudden when I meet someone, I start locking it, then, I would say that is pretty questionable. I personally don’t see anything wrong with locking each others’ phones and being able to give your partner your password if you have nothing to hide. I have gone through females’ phones and vice-versa when in a relationship; not necessarily because of a lack of trust, but sometimes just out of curiosity and boredom. This adds a certain level of transparency to your relationship which is always a plus in my book. That being said, it also depends on how long we have been dating. If I just met you a month ago and you are asking for the password to my phone, I probably will not be giving it to you.
